my predictions for the future

Well it is that time of year... the beginning... of the year. still, kind of. so i think i will roll my eyes back in my head and preminisce my fantubulous visions for the 22nd century. after a harrowing and daunting vision initiated by uncontrollable substances, such as johnson and johnson baby shampoo (oooh, but it doesn't tear, darling) and tea tree oil, i am ready to divulge what the future brings, IMNSHO, in the form of a top ten list. just kidding, it's only a top six list. my creativity stops at six today. that's when i start drinking, too, incidentally. sorry.

1. Technology will continue to improve exponentially, and it will continue to be fueled by batteries. Batteries will continue to suck, and will continue to die only at crucial and embarassing moments.
   
2. Houses will be greener and more energy efficient and therefore even less affordable.
   
3. Pluto will not be the only outcast planet as we discover that even Neptune is simply a moon of Uranus, which is fucking huge (ha, ha).
   
4. Google will acquire all its competitor search engines, including Yahoo!, Altavista, and Ask Jeeves, to become Ask JeGooHoo!
   
5. Wikipedia will expand its user-defined encyclopedia to include the full volume of Encyclopedia Brittanica, as edited by unemployed English majors working insipid office jobs (hmm...)
   
6. Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan will become America's goodwill ambassadors to the newly-formed Islamist Republic of Iraq, attempting to spread the finest American contributions to music, acting, and whatever the hell it is Paris Hilton does. They will be stoned after their arrival for not wearing underwear in public.

Don't worry, buddy, I can do your job better than you can.

This post is stupid. Sorry, I'm at work.